“In a sudden crime wave involving sandwiches”
from ChattahBox, MA
VERO BEACH, Fla. (AP) — A Vero Beach man faces a domestic violence charge after authorities said he assaulted his girlfriend with a cheeseburger. An Indian River County Sheriff’s Office arrest report said a 22-year-old man and his girlfriend got into an argument as they sat in a car in front of their home.
The report said the man would not let the woman out of the vehicle, so she threw his drink out of the car. In response, the man allegedly grabbed her arm and smashed the cheeseburger into her face. The pair got out of the car, and authorities say the man again took the McDonald’s sandwich and put it on her face.
The man was released on $1,000 bond Wednesday.
Information from: Press-Journal, http://www.tcpalm.com/vero
According to the L.A. Times today an Iraqi cult known as Heaven’s Army is trying to wreak chaos all over Iraq. The goal is to cause a rapture-esque event where the saint Imam Mahdi, a descendant of Muhammad, will come down to earth and throw a party. But they need as many suicide bombers as possible and unlike oil they are not a renewable resource. So they need lots of dudes and lots of bitches, mostly bitches to hump all the dudes and keep them stoked on blowing shit up. Abu Jassem said he could join and would get cash-money, but he had to let the other dudes sleep with his wife, daughter and sister. A foursome sprinkled with the zest of incest, no less. Hell yeah. And a woman named Iman was approached by a friend who said, “Listen girl, you want Imam Mahdi to come back? Then you should hump my husband.” Swingers! If your sex life is not up to code then join Heaven’s Army. Sounds heavenly humptastic to me!
I have decided to star suggesting good things in NYC. Because unlike LA we can get as drunk as we want and go to as many things as possible cause’ we ain’t got no cars. Danny-boy still has some paintings up at Arts Tropical in Greenpoint. Barnaby Whitfield has a show opening tomorrow night, but I am more interested in the show he curated in the back “WARM, RED, SALT AND WET” at 31 Grand Gallery (located where its name suggests).There is a closing reception at Brooklyn Fire Proof, for the “Mixed Emotions” show curated by Sophia Dixon on Friday?
Then later on Friday night, if you enjoy fun, and welcome the the end of winter and the departure of its abysmal icy cool breathe (mint mojito) make sure you make it to the Redemption Center, because Bobo and Dj Wastes Muny playing together is basically like sharks communicating with luminescent skin, (see below).