Art is Dead Death.

Posted in Art, Faith, Gossip, Politics, Religion by thedumpsterbaby on April 18, 2008

So we all know contemporary art is boring. At least we all know that thats how most people feel about it. In addition to boring, other adjectives commonly used to describe the segment of cultural output are pretentious, masturbatory, self-serving, narcissistic, and, today’s key word: offensive. Art’s been pissing people off for centuries, and that is a big reason why I like it. People in general annoy the crap out of me, and even though art’s a limp-dick kind of gun, society just hates being conceptually tea-bagged by weirdo art-fags, while, for me, few other events can evoke the same feelings of bliss & joy from the depths of my depravity.

So recently we’ve been hearing a lot about that guy who starves dogs to death while socialites stand around watching, drinking wine and eating cheese. This seemed to piss people off pretty good, as it seemed i could not log on to myspace or Aim for several days without some horrified dog-lover forwarding me the story…and then came the petitions: “Stop this dog murderer before he strikes again!”

Spare me. Ain’t no myspace petition gonna stop a dude from killing a street dog in South America. The irony is that even as an art-lover, I never would have known about this guy if it weren’t for all this opposition. The shock value of his art succeeds in cheaply turning the artist from a nobody into a celebrity in just a couple of days. The thing that pisses me off is that only a few weeks earlier some jackass soldier threw a puppy over a cliff for fun, and had 0 coverage on the myspace bulletin front, at least from my network of digital animal-rights-activist-friends.

I found the aforementioned work to be only slightly less interesting to another artist who killed an animal and got even more famous for it. But actually in this case the artist didnt do the killing, he just set it up. I’m talking here about the goldfish guy, who set up I believe a number of blenders containing goldfish on pedastals in galleries and museums for years. visitors were implicitly challenged to “press the button” on one of the blenders, which would tragically end the goldfish’s life. Eventually someone did and a bunch of people freaked out. over a goldfish. As little as that goldfish mattered to me, personally, the piece still came off to me like a shitty Chris Burden knock-off with a probably unintentional reference to Jeff Koons’ basketballs. Which I could do without.

So today I wake up and I have an email subject header: “IS THIS REAL?” and im thinking “Oh boy, here comes more boring pop-shock-art. Perhaps someone has squashed a bug, and then framed it. But in fact what I read truly brought a smile to my face. Some grad student at Yale had reportedly spent this past academic year artificially inseminating herself “as often as possible” and then taking herbal medications to induce miscarriages. SWEEEEET. People are more pissed than Maude’s schizo cat was when Maude found out about that crazy bastard’s 2nd Life map project. And not just any people, but specifically pro-lifers. YAY FOR PISSING OFF PRO-LIFERS. Dead babies are hilarious, and its not my fault if you cant see the humor in them. I think I’m going to make a blog thats called Lolabortions.com. Itll be just like Lolcatz but with pictures of dead babies instead.


Okay I give up for now.

11 Responses

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  1. reginalumiere said, on April 18, 2008 at 7:00 pm

    yes, i see your point. artists need to do drastic things nowadays in order to get attention for themselves or their art…
    i was slightly disturbed by what that girl did, however. and i am glad it was a hoax.

  2. Nick said, on April 19, 2008 at 1:12 pm

    Welcome the Paris Hilton era of art. Were artist are famous not for the quality of their career, but who they can shock

    These artists are no better than the Kardashians or the Hiltons and should not be supported, unless you want a reality TV show of abortions

  3. teenage diet said, on April 20, 2008 at 4:19 am

    hey guy i dont know. you should look into the time kim jones lit a cage full of rats on fire during a performance at ucla. his gallery published a book of all the negative press that is outstanding, plus kim jones is really the best in general

  4. cagey gronborg said, on April 20, 2008 at 4:22 pm

    I’m just upset that no one is mentioning or remembering Otto Muehl and the Viennese Actionists. This shit is old. WTF?
    p.s. I love Paris Hilton. I want to put her pussy in a bag and sell it.

  5. TASTE & POWER said, on April 20, 2008 at 4:33 pm

    i almost did this morning. but then i didnt, my hangover being too intense to type a coherent complete sentence. otto muehl ruehlz though for sure. as does kim jones, no doubt.

  6. Devin Kenny said, on April 21, 2008 at 8:08 am

    Whoa…I’m definitely falling into a dangerous place.
    Should artists have total free-reign of expression? Can I ask that question without sounding totalitarian or like a neo-con? The answer for both is no. I mean…the fact is artists are still human beings. And should be held to the same standard…even if that standard is fucked-up. Perhaps it’s the artist’s duty to create experiences that challenge that standard, thereby somehow being a benefit to the society they are a part of…even if that society maligns them. Or perhaps the artist isn’t one that changes anything, but just reflects the shifts and undulations of ideology and possibilities within a particular society in it’s most pure, direct way.

    I think it’s pretty tough that she convinced people she induced numerous miscarriages. Quite impressive. That’s quite a powerful gesture…and one that is difficult to place within the confines of Modernist art-criticism…which is a good way of opening up possibilities for a new kind of art theory like that which was posed in the 70s and 80s and early 90s…on the other hand, if there’s already a market for this kind of stuff,what does making work that fits into it do for people? Nothing.

    So in the end

    Viennese actionists rock
    Franz West sucks
    It sucks when innocent people die
    Fetuses are not yet people
    If her actions were real, it’s a shame we live in a world where not only is our labor commodified, but even the products and impetuses of our labor that are intangible like emotions
    I heartily dislike lolcatz
    lolabortionz vs rotten.com vs lifesucksdiemagazine
    Natalie Imbruglia-Torn

  7. Mr. Roach said, on April 21, 2008 at 4:25 pm

    There is an older tradition of art that did not involve deliberate offense. It invovled transmitting what was highest and best in the community, such as the religious art of the Middle Ages or the political art of the early 19th Century.

    In the later 19th Century, art became the play thing of the idle rich. They, as a rule, are less interesting and more atheistic than common people, and thus much of their art is totally lame, lacking quality, drama, authentic emotion, or any connection to anything outside the artist’s ego.

    The more one understands modern art, the more contemptible it is.

  8. Rat Toasty said, on April 22, 2008 at 1:55 pm

    Dear Taste & Power,

    Above all, art should be pretty. Abortions are pretty. Thus, this girl rulz.

    and Devin – Natalie Imbruglia – Torn AHAHAH you are a genius of the blog comment

    and Mr. Roach – I’m not so sure you could say art pre-19th century was about the highest and best in society. I may be misunderstanding what you mean by that, but much of it was about power, control, war, unprotected sex…ok maybe it was about the best in society. you win.

  9. emilie said, on April 23, 2008 at 10:20 am

    Ethics aside I don’t believe that this artist exists.
    Does no one resurch the things that they get so mad about?
    His name is always diffrent. The gallery in which this piece took place has no website. The date in which the piece was shown is never consistent. Sites are claiming that it was part of the biannele that hasn’t even happened yet. I can’t find one thing about this artist other than this piece and his response to it. A piece which I too think is amazing.
    Not because of the stink it has caused, or the gore of it all, but because it shows societys willingness to point the finger but unwillingness to do anything about it. It happens all the time and it makes me wish I was that aborted fetus of an art project, for real.

  10. imblogginglol said, on April 24, 2008 at 6:52 pm


  11. oldmanwinter said, on April 28, 2008 at 11:48 pm

    I thought art was that painting of a barn in my room at the Hilton Hotel in San Diego.

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